19th Sep 2010: Korfball Kommittee Kenturion

It had been a long Summer for our merry band of korfers and korfettes, the earlier training session had made it obvious how low fitness levels had sunk. The ultimate challenge of a committee centurion, sadly, lead us to the same conclusion.

Having arrived at No.40 Arden Street the shiny new committee and notable korfballing dignitaries settled down for some heated debate and discussion. Once His Holiness, our Dear Leader Will Lawton had finished dictating his will chairing the debate, many “ayes” rang out and every motion was passed. Except for the new constitution, which is, according to all reports (the author’s), a riveting read.

Once the sideshow had been concluded and much pizza eaten (eventually), our heroes embarked upon their epic quest. Various weapons had been mustered, with Will Lawton, Louise Pirie, Catherine Helme, Rosemary Nolan, Sophie Brown, Lucy McGrath, Rosie Whelan and Rachel Johnson selecting Strongbow, a classic, Graham Morris taking Belhaven Best; Will Ellis, Stella Artois; Kyle Crombie, Corr’s Light; Sarah Higginson, various potently flavoured waters and most shamefully of all, Rob Kennedy brought up the rear with Carlsberg.

All started well, with many cries of “this is too easy”, complacency was abound. Until, soon after beginning, 50% of your Social Secretary team (Louise Pirie) nipped for an illegal toilet break following shot TWENTY-SEVEN. The resulting Tequila penalty shot was apparently too much for one with such a poor drinking pedigree, although rumours of a tactical chunder have, thus far, gone unproven (and, intriguingly,unanswered…).
Next to fall was Coaching Co-ordinator, Catherine Helme, who reached a mighty THIRTY TWO before declaring herself “broken”. As the number of shots consumed approached fifty, some committee members were starting to look rather worse for wear, Louise was caught begging Simon for a shot of water and Will Lawton swore blind that the timer was speeding up, more than once.

Kyle Crombie was next to bow out at FIFTY, although with his reputation (supposedly) intact, he had a ‘meeting’ the next morning. This seems an appropriate time to dishonourably mention Chris Kay andKathryn Maltby who cited ‘a busy day tomorrow’ as a legitimate excuse for staying dry all night (except when Simon took ‘chuck us a Strongbow’ literally and pelted an open bottle at El Presidente). Shocking, especially for two supposed ‘veterans’ of Potterrow.

Just falling short of three quarters were Will Lawton and Rosemary Nolan, failing at SIXTY-NINE and SEVENTY respectively (it’s clear who wears the trousers there…) and Sophie Brown, although by this point the author lost track of quite how many shots Sophie B made it to, apologies for that Soph.

The remainder powered through the final twenty-five shots and slew the Centurion beast, therefore congratulations and serious man-points go to:
Those drinking alcoholic beverages: Lucy McGrath (Strongbow); Rosie Whelan (Strongbow); Rachel Johnson (Strongbow); Graham Morris (Belhaven Best); Will Ellis (Stella) and to those drinking non-alcoholic beverages: Sarah Higginson (Flavoured Sparkling Waters) and Rob Kennedy (Carlsberg).